One of primary reasons most people don’t get what they want is because they are not clear about what they want. It is a surprise to note that people are crystal clear about what they don’t want – “I don’t want a relationship filled with arguments”, “I don’t want to become bankrupt”, “I am afraid that I wouldn’t be able to pay my bills someday”, “What if I buy a big car, I might have a terrible accident”. Our mind is our worst enemy. It sabotages us with its judgements, fear, anxiety, etc
Are you sabotaging yourself and your goals this way?
After decades of research into how the human brain works, scientists now know that for our brains to figure out how to get what we want, we must first decide what we want. Once we are clear on our desires, our mind gets aligned with the universe to help make our dreams into reality.
Focusing on what you “don’t want” can effectively make you feel powerless. It does not define what you do want. However, this tends to be our habitual tendency. When you intentionally focus on what you do want, the thoughts of what you don’t want are gradually washed away. The secret here is that – You don’t fight the thoughts of what you don’t want; you overcome them by concentrating on what you do want.
When you initially learnt car driving, your mind would be filled with fear of not hitting another vehicle. Your trainer would consciously shift your focus back to the road. As you become a master in car driving, it comes naturally to you to focus on the road. You never focus your attention on hitting the wall, isn’t it?
In a similar way, can you remember the last time you were caught up in an argument? Maybe you forgot what you were even arguing about—yet you knew inside you had to win! What if, in the middle of that argument, you asked yourself, “What result do I really want from this? Am I focussing on what I want?” You would have realized that your outcome was not to argue, but to create a resolution. This simple shift in focus would have immediately changed the direction of the communication, and would have likely moved you from a state of arguing towards a focus on resolution.
Focusing on illness will never create health. Focusing on unpaid bills or an overdrawn bank account will not create abundance. Focusing our attention on a problem will only serve to magnify it.
In your goal list, you can choose to focus on the results that you are committed to. Instead of focussing on “how to” and “what if” fears, once you shift your focus to the results, you’ll find yourself consistently moving toward the results you’re after—and very often accomplishing them with a much shorter to-do list than you expected.
Focus on what you want and your life will be filled with blessings!
Anurama loves working with people and feel humbled to observe their beautiful transformations